Love and Other Things We Don't Understand

I lie when I'm in Love. Maybe that's the problem. Perhaps I should be the Saucy Wench, the Impish Tease, the Task Mistress, and not my usual pile of Clinging Goo. I want the other person not so much to feel better but to feel better about me. There is nothing so selfish as claiming to care and to love. Ergo, you want to change the object of your affection to something better, something happier, something more that suits you...all right! Suits me. Me. Me.  To truly Love is to accept. "Love alters not when it alteration finds." I repeat Sonnet 116 over and over but do I really believe it or is it just to make myself look better? And the sad part of this is that all the lying and begging and improving is that I have twice had to leave the men in question and I left them in tatters, unable to function. I did all the work and paid all the bills and they were left more helpless than ever. To say "be a man", is something both men and women should aspire to as it makes us feel more human. We survive on our own and sometimes as equals, but never when I am the Mother, easing the way far too much. Sometimes, I have simply not let my men be men. I have not let them find their own way and feel their own success. I destroy with Love and that is a terrible fault I should apologize for the rest of my Life.